Why Rape?
The sad tale of irreparable damage.
Rape is a curse. It happened to Thando so many times she has lost count. Why does it happen? Why rape in the first place?
The first time it happened, she was 5. An older cousin did it. Her mother bathed her and told her it was a dream!
Other instances are too graphic for this platform. She is grateful that others did not actually rape her, but they did things to the little Thando that a child should never have to experience. The traumatic experience is fresh, and she still finds it difficult to talk about. It has maimed her for life.
She wrote me a note detailing 6 of her ordeals:
- My mother’s uncle touched me inappropriately and laughed at my face that his sister will never believe me! I was about 10 years and he lived with us.
- My maternal cousin raped me several times when I was 12 and he argued I threw myself at him. He was in his thirties and had no girlfriend.
- The brother to the cousin rapist who visited during school holidays and told me “pretty girls don't cry”. He was a bully and exchanged fists with my mother.
- A police officer who was to look after me while I travelled on a train to Gaborone moved me to second class and asked me to play a mother to his children…
- The Secondary school teacher I confided in took advantage of me and told me nobody would believe a rape victim. I believed him. My mother never believed me to this day!.
- My real first boyfriend tore my clothes and repeatedly raped me, calling me a whore because “I slept” with too many men from a young age.
Rape is the cruellest occurrence to happen to a human being- especially a young girl. The girl never goes over the trauma of rape. She instantaneously blames herself for the repetitive occurrence and always explains why perpetrators took advantage of her:
I am too pretty
I dress inappropriately
I am loud
I did not fight hard enough
It is in me to get raped!
Thando agreed to go for counselling after a lot of convincing. She has been at it for 2 years now. It shocked me to learn where she is since her enrolment.
She is angry.
Furious at her mother.
Infuriated at the world.
Irate at any man and annoyed at herself!
